Review: THE LITCH (2017)

By no conventional definition of the term is THE LITCH a good movie. But that’s OK because James Balsamo (IT WANTS BLOOD!, I SPILL YOUR GUTS) doesn’t make conventional movies. A quick look at the Facebook page for his production company Acid Bath Productions will tell you that. His movies revolve around “Babes, Bad Jokes and Balsamo”. One B word you won’t see there, however, is “Budget” and there’s a reason for that.

Vinnie (James Balsamo) is a small-time crook with a big problem. The crystal he stole from a New Age type store has unleashed an undead wizard, The Litch (Dave Stein). The Litch turns Vinnie’s friends and family into zombie-like creatures in order to get the crystal back. His boss (Jasson Finney) has put out a hit on him, and the cops think he’s responsible for the sudden rash of killings.

The Litch 1

However, all is not lost. With a bit of luck and some info from Psychic Genoveva (Genoveva Rossi, 100 ACRES OF HELL, HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS’ BLOODMANIA) he might be able to get out of this alive. Assuming the coven of large breasted witches helping him are as powerful as they say.

THE LITCH claims to have a budget of $80,000, but I’d be surprised if it wasn’t closer to a quarter of that. The effects range from passable to bad cartoon animation, and several scenes are obvious stock footage. There are cameos from several recognizable names including Tom Sizemore (HELL GIRL, ABSTRUSE), Lloyd Kaufman, Debra Lamb, (BLOOD CRAFT) and Elizabeth Daily. Porn aficionados will recognize Sheila Marie and probably a few of the other topless females scattered through the film.

The Litch 2

Now go back and refer to what I said about conventional films. THE LITCH is a microbudget parody of the genre along the lines of Dustin Mill’s early films like ZOMBIE A-HOLE and HEART ATTACK a/k/a NIGHT OF THE TENTACLES. Coincidentally they both contributed to the anthology TRASHTASTIC.

THE LITCH is the same kind of cheap, politically incorrect comedy that gets over on raw energy, gooey effects, bad jokes, and bare breasts. It pokes fun at the genre clichés and traditions we know and love. It’s obviously an acquired taste, even among genre fans. It’s not surprising that it’s currently rocking a 2.9 on IMDB, but fans of this kind of film should have a blast.

THE LITCH is available on Vimeo

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