In case you’re wondering, yes, you read the title right, there is a film called SCARECROWS OF THE THIRD REICH, and at least one person, which would be me, actually watched it. And believe me, when I tell you, that’s one person too many. I understand a film like this, one that was probably made on a three, maybe four-digit budget, (its IMDB page estimates $10,000 but there’s no way they spent that much), can’t really be judged by the same standards as even a low budget film. But by any standards, this is a disaster.

The plot could have been goofy fun in better hands. A secret project conceived in the final days of World War II leads to the creation of killer scarecrows. It also led to the creation of a fanged killer dubbed The Red Wolf (Diamond Troy Justice). A few tank shells disrupt everything and the project falls into obscurity. Until now. The Red Wolf is still quite alive and supernaturally powered. He’s also on a killing spree. When Agent Fox (Timothy Scott Wimer Jr aka TJ Mathis) kills him he learns of the project and heads to Germany to put a final end to it.

Writer/director/producer Troy Fritz doesn’t even seem to be trying to make a professional-looking film. There’s a scene set during the war that has modern high tension lines in plain view. Not just the wires but the massive tower holding them up. There are fight scenes that are so poorly choreographed they look like bottom of the barrel pro wrestling. Two overweight guys throwing superman punches that are clearly missing their target. A bit of Googling informed me that indeed much of the cast as well as the director are/were wrestlers. Unfortunately, the next Rock is nowhere to be found, though TJ does kinda look like him if you squint.

I could go on but you get the idea. Given a bit of talent, actors that had basic talent and an at least vaguely coherent script this could have been a fun way to kill some time. Instead, it feels way too long at 67 minutes.

SCARECROWS OF THE THIRD REICH is available on DVD for under $15 from distributor World Wide Multi Media if you really want to see it. But don’t say you weren’t warned.