Review: ALL THE CREATURES WERE STIRRING (2018)

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Spending Christmas alone has, for some reason, gotten the reputation for being one of the worst of all possible social fates. Personally, I rarely minded it, no pretending to like bad food or having to endure drunken obnoxious relatives, etc. But that’s just me, and I’m frequently told I’m a grumpy old bastard. In David Ian and Rebekah McKendry’s ALL THE CREATURES WERE STIRRING Max (Skipper Graham THE MIND’S EYE, BEYOND THE GATES) and Jenna (Ashley Clements) hook up for a first date to avoid being alone on Christmas Eve. They end up at an incredibly minimalist stage show hosted by a mute MC (Maria Olsen MARRTOWN, KRAMPUS ORIGINS). It’s Christmas themed acts become the film’s much less minimalist segments.

The Stockings Were Hung tells the tale of an office Christmas party at the Hem Ways Corporation. A Christmas party that takes a murderous turn. Utilizing split/multiple screens and camera angles it keeps us constantly off guard. It’s a grimly murderous segment up til the end.

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Dash Away All is an encounter in a mall parking lot. After locking himself out of, and his phone in his car Eric (Matt Long GHOST RIDER) has to recruit the help of two passing women Sasha (Catherine Parker ABSENTIA, THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE) and Frankie (Makeda Declet) . But they have their own agenda.

All Through The House riffs on A Christmas Carol, as a misanthrope spending the holiday alone with cocaine and movies on TV is visited by three ghosts. The ghosts are very creepy looking, resembling the undead in WE ARE STILL HERE .

Arose Such A Clatter sees careless driver do a hit and run on a reindeer. One that turns out to be one of Santa’s team. It’s the weakest and most predictable of the bunch.

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In A Twinkling sees aliens disrupting an already problematic Christmas Eve. Steve (Morgan Peter Brown OUIJA, XX ) has hermited himself away on Christmas Eve, Gabby (Constance Wu PARALLELS, CRAZY RICH ASIANS) isn’t having any of that and shows up with friends. The only problem is, so have some aliens. This is actually a cute, TWILIGHT ZONE styled segment, complete with stylized black and white cinematography.

And To All A Goodnight sadly has nothing to do with the only film David Hess directed. It does end the film on a blackly humorous note.

ALL THE CREATURES WERE STIRRING, while never directly invoking Santa, elves or even Krampus manages to hit the spirit of Christmas head on. This is a film that should become a staple of genre geeks holiday viewing.

RLJE Films will make ALL THE CREATURES WERE STIRRING available on DVD, On Demand and Digital Video on December 4 ,2018

Jim Morazzini

Movie buff, gym rat and crazy cat guy

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