“At Rock Steady University only the strong graduate, let alone survive”. We are informed of this fact during the film’s animated introduction. And that should give you an idea of just what a strange film ROCK STEADY ROW is. A twisted mix of A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS, MAD MAX and ANIMAL HOUSE all set on a college campus from hell.
The Freshman (Heston Horwin, DEAD DICKS) rides into Rock Steady University on his bicycle. Within minutes it’s stolen. Very shortly after that he’s kicking ass and getting in trouble from The Dean (Larry Miller, The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then The Bigfoot) who gets a cut of the proceeds from the sale of the stolen bikes.
It seems rising tuition costs and dwindling financial age have turned the campus into something of a war zone. And our hero is going to have to play the two dominant fraternities Kappa Brutus Omega and The High Society against each other, and the administration, to get his bike back.
Part action film, part satire on the state of higher education and part absolutely mad farce this isn’t a film for everybody. A lot of people won’t get it and a lot will find it silly. But for those that can go with it, it’s a fun ride. The interactions between the amoral Freshman and his idealistic journalist roommate Piper (Diamond White) are especially enjoyable.
Director Trevor Stevens and writer Bomani J. Story pack the film’s 72 minute run time full of barbs at higher education, tuition costs, lousy faculty, fraternity/rape culture etc., but mix it with enough film geek references and action that it never feels heavy-handed. But how heavy-handed can a film that uses pencils as a deadly weapon be?