Review: SCARECROWS (2017)

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SCARECROWS is unfortunately not a remake of William Wesley’s 1988 gem, in fact it’s not even about killer scarecrows at all. Instead it’s more of a weak version of WOLF CREEK with a demented farmer who tortures anyone who wanders onto his property before putting them up in his field as living scarecrows.

It’s the usual scenario, young folk off for some fun making bad choices and paying dearly for it. So when Farbsie (Mike Taylor), his girlfriend Devon (Maaor Ziv), best friend Ely (Umed Amin), and his girlfriend Ash (Hannah Gordon) head out for an afternoon at a secluded lake, you know things will not end well. And it doesn’t as they take a shortcut across the wrong field and run into The Father (Jason J. Thomas) the mute psychopathic farmer and his offspring The Son (Derek Christoff). I guess the Holy Spirit’s agent had the brains to turn this one down.

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The script by Adam Rodness and director Stuart Stone is a mess of convoluted events and cliched characters. The kids are all so annoying you want them dead and the killer is so bland he doesn’t hold your interest at all. What makes it all even worse is that Rodness and Stone previously made the lightweight but enjoyable THE HAUNTED HOUSE ON KIRBY ROAD. Stone also has a long list of credits as an actor, they should have known how sub-par the script was.

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Unfortunately, rather than do another draft or two they just went for it. That wasted the film’s one disturbing idea. Getting hacked up by a guy in a hockey mask isn’t a good way to die. But being crucified in a field and left for the elements and the crows to finish you off? That’s nightmare stuff, and SCARECROWS makes it boring. It’s the most boring film involving a cornfield since CHILDREN OF THE CORN: RUNAWAYSadly it also lacks the WTF factor of SCARECROWS OF THE THIRD REICH.

Uncork’d Entertainment will release SCARECROWS to VOD on December 11th.

Jim Morazzini

Movie buff, gym rat and crazy cat guy

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