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A troubled couple decides to take a trip out to the middle of nowhere in order to work out their problems. They find out however that they’ve wandered into the middle of much worse problems. We’ve seen this one a few times before, but writer/director/star Miles Doleac (The Hollow, Demons) decided we needed to see it again. So he made Hallowed Ground.

He did change things up a little, the married couple are both women, Vera (Sherri Eakin) and Alice (Lindsay Anne Williams). Alice cheated on her wife with Thatcher (Jeremy Sande, Purgatory Road, Backwoods) who’s so repellent I can’t imagine why a woman would talk to him, let alone sleep with him.

They go off for a vacation at a lodge on Native American territory. And are promptly warned to pay attention to the boundary markers. Seems the neighbours are some kind of cultists, and very uptight about trespassers. There’s bad blood between the tribe and the cult that goes back a couple of hundred years. And the ladies find themselves in the middle as it flares up again.

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Doleac’s previous two films both ran long, and Hallowed Ground is no exception. Unfortunately, it turns into just under two hours of bad decisions and unrealistic actions. Thatcher shows up, of course, and rather than telling him to fuck off or feeding him to the bears, they let him stick around and spew shit at them.

The local Sheriff, played by Doleac, is a hateful, homophobic psycho who repeatedly calls them degenerates and has a son who kills cats for fun. Does this get them to pack their bags and go home? Of course not.

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The first hour of Hallowed Ground is pretty much straight soap opera. Finally, they talk about leaving, but only do it because the cult kidnaps Thatcher. Things get a bit more lively at that point, but not by much.

There’s some complaining about “The War Of Northern Aggression” and an attempted crucifixion. A threatened caning, (seriously) and more talk to drag things out. Finally, in the last twenty minutes, there’s some action and a couple of people die. And when it finally looks like we’ll have a full-scale dose of mayhem, the film wimps out on a non-ending. A supposedly chilling postscript is just distasteful. Slow moving and slow-witted, Hallowed Ground isn’t even good for laughs.

Hallowed Ground in select theatres June 7, and releasing on VOD/DVD June 11 from Uncork’d Entertainment. You can check its Facebook page for updates.

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