Writer and co-director Thomas Martwick have given us Tsunambee and The Jurassic Dead. Now they’re back with Jurassic Thunder. Hide your brain cells, because this will kill them on sight.
The plot, such as it is, has something to do with a zombie plague in Africa. Or maybe somebody reading a comic book about a zombie plague in Africa. The US and the Russians devise a plan to deal with it using electronically controlled dinosaurs with weapons strapped to their heads. Of course, things go wrong. So an elite team of operatives is sent in.
IMDB lists Jurassic Thunder as an action film, but it has to have been made as an attempt at comedy. And I do mean attempt. When you can’t get me to laugh at jokes aimed at Donald Trump you’ve utterly failed. The jokes are on the level of having a character named Colonel Sanders be on the receiving end of fried chicken jokes. Or someone covering themselves in dino dropping to stay safe because “dinosaurs won’t eat their own shit”.
From a technical perspective, Jurassic Thunder is a joke, but not a funny one. Much of what goes on is obviously superimposed against background footage. It doesn’t even look green-screened, more like something from a 1950s film. And the CGI dinosaurs are even worse. The puppet in Killersaurus was more realistic looking.
I’ve already wasted more time and effort on Jurassic Thunder than it deserves. Anyone suckered in by the poster and expecting a serious monster movie is going to be disappointed. Anyone expecting a real movie will be disappointed for that matter. This not only replaces Verotika as the worst thing I’ve seen this year, it makes it look good.
Jurassic Thunder will be available on DVD and Digital March 10th from High Octane Pictures. You can check the film’s Facebook page for more details.