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While they’re not putting them out at the pace the British are, there’s been a steady stream of genre films coming out of Ireland over the past few years. Beyond the Woods, Grabbers and The Perished to name a few. Writer/director Stephen Patrick Kenny has contributed a few films to the list, including Captive and The Pigman Murders (no relation to Holland Road Massacre: The Legend of Pigman). His latest, Missing in Greenwood has just come out, is it a worthy addition to the list?

Missing in Greenwood opens with a couple of different found-footage style sequences. Much of the film seems to be found footage, actually, but it’s intercut with shots that obviously aren’t.

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From here we follow a couple of groups of hikers in the Greenwood forest. This then gets interrupted by footage of a masked killer who sounds like something out of a Monty Python sketch being interviewed. The hikers drink beer and stumble around. The previously seen killer argues with another masked murderer over whose side of the woods this is.

Finally, we get to what is supposed to be the plot as the hikers cross paths with Patrick Cullen (Tony Denham, Exit, We Still Kill the Old Way). He’s looking for his son (Mark Hutchinson) who went missing in the woods. Needless to say, they’ll all eventually find out what happened to him.

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Listed on IMDB as horror and comedy, both are missing from Missing in Greenwood. Apart from a couple of scenes with the motor-mouthed masked killer, there’s nothing funny going on here. Unless you find people talking about needing to shit in the woods and swearing at each other funny. Even the scene of one of the hikers accidentally filming his buddy masturbating falls flat.

It’s equally bad as a horror film. The given plot about a father searching for his son takes up all of two short scenes. There’s zero tension, and the film’s idea of special effects is smearing blood on actors.

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Missing in Greenwood is a mess. Very little of it holds together or feels cohesive, it’s like a collection of improvised scenes randomly strung together. Which might not have been so bad if they were at least interesting. Unfortunately, in the worst tradition of found footage, ninety percent of the film consists of people stumbling around the woods in the dark.

Missing in Greenwood is available to stream.

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