7 Deadly Sins Poster

Review: 7 Deadly Sins (2019)

7 Deadly Sins was shot under the title Charlie Charlie, and that’s the only title I could find any posters, trailers, etc under. It is not a good sign when a distributor can’t be bothered making promotional material for their film. It’s as if they have no faith in it and just dumped it on Amazon for a quick buck. But I still decided to give this variation on the idiots play with a Ouija board theme a chance.

It’s Spring Break and the cool kids are going to party. This is the kind of school where the students drive Mercedes convertibles and have parents who bribe judges. And bribe them they do this after Jamal (Steph Santana) gets pulled over with Kim (Tori Vild) in his passenger seat and a large bag of weed in the trunk.

Kim’s mother pays the judge (Eric Roberts, Something, Surge of Power: Revenge of the Sequel) to make sure her daughter gets house arrest and Jamal gets several years. That way she doesn’t have to worry about having a “nappy-headed” grandchild. On top of that, she’s hired Sarah (Gladys Bautista) to make sure she doesn’t violate her house arrest since mommy is going to Miami.

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Then we have a flashback to five years ago. When Richard (Tom Sizemore, Hustle Down, Hell Girl), Kim’s father, had a meltdown and was institutionalized. Want to bet his mutterings about Charlie Charlie will be relevant later in 7 Deadly Sins?

Anyways, everyone ends up partying at Kim’s once her mother leaves. This means we have a bunch of obnoxious assholes acting like they’re in a rap video. Or a hair metal video if you’re old school. Until the cops show up. With nothing better to do, they decide to play Charlie Charlie. Of course, they end up summoning something from the other side.

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You know a film has issues when you’re impatient for the demon to show up because everyone in the film is so obnoxious you want them dead ASAP. And that is exactly how I felt about 7 Deadly Sins. With dialogue like “Do you really think I look like Kim Kardashian?” and nothing in the way of horror until nearly the one-hour mark, this was a challenge to sit through. It was like watching one of those MTV dbag reality shows.

Once the evil entity shows up, things do get a bit more interesting. But the idea of a creature that can look like anyone stalking people at a party was done so much better in Head Count. At least I gave a shit about most of the characters in that film. In 7 Deadly Sins, I just wanted them dead.

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Director Glenn Plummer (VooDoo Curse: The Giddeh) and writer Tony Mercedes seem to think we’ll suddenly start caring about a bunch of assholes once they start being killed off. Wrong, I was happy to see them die because it meant I was getting closer to the end of the movie.

7 Deadly Sins is available to stream via Gravitas Ventures. But I watched it, so you don’t have to.

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