The UK just gave us The Barge People with its cannibalistic mutant fish people. Now we have Tribal: Get Out Alive, which pits a private security team against the cannibalistic results of a mad scientist’s experiments. I’m not sure what’s going on over there in the UK at the moment, but I’d be careful ordering any meat dishes while I was there.

Caitlin (Zara Phythian, Cannibals and Carpet Fitters, Transit 17) returned from Afghanistan suffering from PTSD. Along with her former squadmate Brad (Ross O’Hennessy, Avengement, Dragon Kingdom), she now works for a private security firm.

Richard Kenning (Thomas Dodd) has just inherited a large and crumbling estate. His father allowed the local homeless to live there. He considers them scum and wants them gone so he can sell the place. Caitlin and Brad are hired to lead the team to sweep the buildings and make sure the police have removed them all. It seems a simple task until some of the team disappears. Locked in with no way out except through some tunnels underneath the building. They’re about to find out the real reason the previous owner let the homeless stay on the property.

I had somewhat high hopes for Tribal: Get Out Alive. The plot sounded like it could be lots of fun, ex-military types vs flesh-eaters in some dark creepy tunnels. Plus Zara Phythian can deliver the goods in a fight scene.

Unfortunately, what Tribal: Get Out Alive delivers is something less than satisfying. It takes nearly half an hour to get into the tunnels, and then there’s not much time spent in them. They may be great for atmosphere but they’re shitty for staging fights in. So we’re back into big, well-lit rooms and corridors for most of the film. Similarly, the creatures, which are supposedly stronger and faster than normal humans never really seem enhanced. They’re more like typical zombies most of the time. The difference is they remember what to do with a machete. Something of which the estate seems to have an endless supply.

Which leaves Tribal: Get Out Alive as a fairly generic low-budget action film with the odd moment of unimpressive gore. But at least it does throw around the occasional hacked-off limb. That’s more than I can say for a few genre films I’ve seen lately. This is director Matt Routledge’s first feature although he’s done several shorts and worked as a stuntman. He’s learned how to stage a fight nicely. However, he shows no feeling for the script’s horror elements. The script itself, by Johnny Walker, (whether a real person or the spirit it was written under the influence of I’m not sure) doesn’t give him much to work with though.

There’s enough action that if you’re looking for a dose of female ass-kicking and in an undemanding mood, Tribal: Get Out Alive should kill some time. You can check the film’s Facebook page for more information.

Where to watch Tribal: Get Out Alive