A bunch of criminals pull off a robbery only to find out the business they hit was a mob front. That’s been done so many times it has its own entry on TV Tropes. It even turns up in unlikely films such as Mega Time Squad. Well, The Devil’s Heist ups the stakes a bit. What if, instead of being run by the Hell’s Angels the bank was run by the Fallen Angel himself?
Ted (Bryan Sapphire, Shakes the Clown) has just gotten out of prison and things are already going wrong. His ride is too busy getting some to pick him up. As this is going on, Lilith (Sheri Davis, The Lightning Man, Axegrinder 2) walks in on Lucifer (Mike Ferguson, Nowhere to Run, Amityville Hex) who was enjoying a threesome with Bella (Genghis Mccampbell) and Alexa (Sandra Rosko, 31, The Creeping) and without her. It seems nobody is having a good day.
Mike (Devin Caldarone) and his girlfriend Cathy (Jackie Falcon, Paranormal Attraction) finally show up and they promptly decide to rob Coven National Bank which conveniently has no security. Guess who it’s biggest depositor is. So not only have they pissed off the witches who run the bank, they’ve pissed off the Prince of Darkness himself. Once again, everyone is going to have a real bad day.
Told in flashback by the now-deceased Ted, it doesn’t take long to realize that The Devil’s Heist isn’t a normal film. About the time we see Lucifer, who looks like a heavily inked biker with a small pair of horns on his forehead, having a post-sex smoke with a pair of succubae to be precise. The fact he’s scared of the pissed off Lilith just adds to the WTF factor. Who would have believed the Devil is pussy whipped?
There’s also the matter of why Lucifer would have a bank account in the first place. Or why he would care if the bank was robbed, banks are insured. And when you can snap your fingers and make riches appear as needed why bother? Maybe he gets a good deal like 66.6% interest? Sadly The Devil’s Heist leaves this great theological riddle unanswered.
Most of The Devil’s Heist involves the hapless criminals bickering and being toyed with by the Witches, Charlotte (Marjorie Kunigisky), Rose (Rose Wakesho) and Alexa’s twin sister Victoria ( Sandra Rosko again). They eventually end up in The Wasteland where Ted wanders off and is tormented by visions of Satan. There’s also an assortment of characters from a very literal underworld all trying to get their hands on the money.
It feels like director Fernando Acevedo and screenwriters Sophia Louisa and Bryan Sapphire were aiming for a kind of surreal film noir. We have the narration by a dead man, an assortment of femme fatales, goons and a mob boss. All trappings of film noir but with a supernatural edge. And just as with the human characters of a noir, the demons smoke constantly.
The result of all this is a film that plays a lot better if you’ve been smoking something besides tobacco. It’s extremely low budget frequently shows, and for a film that has “Unrated Edition” slapped across the poster, The Devil’s Heist is pretty tame. There’s a little blood but no gore or effects and just a brief shot of boobs. But, even sober, it’s still compelling in a “what will they do next” kind of way. With a system full of THC it’s easily deserving of another star.