Revenge of the First Wives (1997) Review

After resurrecting Sons of Steel a few months ago, Future Video is back with Revenge of the First Wives. Shot as Return of the First Wives, a title meant to cash in on The First Wives Club, but a plot designed to cash in on Charlie’s Angels it was never released, something that seems rather unbelievable considering it was produced by David S. Sterling (Children of Camp Blood, Amityville Vampire). Considering the films he’s put out under the Sterling Entertainment label, one has to wonder why he didn’t give this one a release himself.

Writer/director Doug Demarco (Evil Sister, Reunion) certainly gets Revenge of the First Wives off to an eye-opening start. One of Don Carlo’s girls has crossed him and he is not happy. To make amends, she’s instructed to service his son Vinnie (Doug Demarco). She gives him a fully clothed bj then gets bent over the table while he has his way with her. In the middle of this, he bloodlessly shoots her in the head and keeps going until he’s finished.

She’s far from the only victim of Don Carlo’s mob. He’s also killed three undercover policemen. The mayor is furious, this could seriously hurt his reelection campaign, and demands something be done. The solution, convince Jasmine (Carolyn Renee Smith, The Naked Detective, Erotic Boundaries) and the other two widows to go undercover and get the goods on the Don. The women, now running out of money and getting horny, agree to pose as a hooker, a drug dealer and Don Carlo’s personal sex slave.

Featuring a cast of very unfamiliar names and faces, dialogue and plotting that isn’t just bad but laugh out loud awful and lots of tame depictions of sleazy acts, Revenge of the First Wives is a film for SOV completists and bad movie buffs only. Anyone else attempting to watch it may suffer brain damage.

How bad are the dialogue and plotting? First, go back and reread the synopsis of Revenge of the First Wives plot. Then consider that when the mayor expresses outrage over the death of the undercover cops the chief isn’t bothered at all, that’s just part of the job. But then they turn around and tell the widows that going undercover won’t be that dangerous. If it’s so safe, why are they widows?

And why are they already broke? They should have savings, cops make good money, and they would get survivors benefits, did they spend everything already? Apparently, they have no workplace skills either, they’re considering taking up stripping when we first meet them. And wait until you see their attempt to turn Vinnie over to their side.

Despite the film’s plot, they didn’t factor in money for bullet wound effects. And while at least one of the actresses in Revenge of the First Wives has a background in porn, and a plot that’s heavy on sexual situations, there’s no nudity. Expect a lot of teasing.

As an added bonus for die-hard B movie and shot-on-video buffs, the behind-the-camera credits for Revenge of the First Wives include cinematography by Scott Spears, whose other credits include Plaguers, Horrors of War and Blood Legend. Editor Jeff Leroy went on to direct over 20 films including Werewolf in a Women’s Prison, Predator World and, most recently, Giantess Attack vs. Mecha Fembot. Jay Woelfel who composed the score racked up over thirty credits as a composer as well as directing films such as Beyond Dream’s Door, Trancers 6 and Asylum of Darkness.

If you’ve read this far, then you’re probably one of the people Revenge of the First Wives was released for. And like me, you’ll get a kick out of it, though not for the reasons the makers intended. It’s available on Blu-ray and DVD, as well as a limited VHS edition. It’s available from Future Video via MakeFlix.com. You can check the Future Video Facebook page for more details.