Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 (2022) Review

Don't Fuck in The Woods 2 Poster

Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 begins in the bloody remains of the 2016 original and stays there just long enough to make sure the viewer knows they’re watching a horror film. And we’ll need that reminder because for the first half of the film it’s easy to think you’re watching an 80s teen comedy as the cast tell bad jokes and find excuses to take their clothes off.

Under the watchful eye of Gil (Cheyenne Gordon, Scream for Summer, The Wicked One) and Nurse Vanessa (Nessa Moore) a group of young adults including Tasha (Kenzie Phillips, Ouija Blood Ritual, Chinese Speaking Vampires), Will (Jason Crowe, They See You, Wicked Ones), Mason (Mark Justice, Death Count, Starlets) are getting ready to spend the summer as councillors at Pine Hill Camp. And we all know that means partying before the kids arrive.

That takes up the first forty minutes Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 and gives us plenty of skin. Between casual nudity and sex scenes, there should be more than enough to satisfy your inner adolescent. Julie Anne Prescott (Hi-Fear, Bloody Summer Camp) even shows up for no other purpose than having a girl/girl scene on a picnic table. Horror? Well, we do get a parasite attack on a couple who disregard the title and go at it in a tent.

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Then Jane (Brittany Blanton, 60 Seconds to Die, Death Care) the original film’s final girl comes running into camp screaming. At that point director Shawn Burkett (13 Slays Till X-Mas, Betsy) and co-writer Cheyenne Gordon push the focus towards horror. But not before putting a few more breasts on the screen.

While it’s never really scary, Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 is energetically bloody once the infected’s eyes glaze over and they start growing a mouthful of sharp teeth and a taste for blood. It’s kind of a cross between Night of the Creeps and They Came from Within as the survivors fight off their former friends and a shitbag of a sheriff (Tom Komisar, The Krokodil Chronicles. Blood Moon River). And just for good measure, the last few minutes pull in elements of Contamination and Inseminoid aka Horror Planet.

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Apart from some puppet work to depict the aliens and a couple of gory deaths the effects are mostly limited to contact lenses, fake teeth and blood spray. The cave creature at the end looks OK, but it’s pretty easy to see that the cave itself is made of black plastic. Given the film’s death toll I would have liked to see a couple more standout demises, especially with the chainsaw involved. But Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 has its focus on uses of silicone other than props.

In case you’re wondering, no, you don’t have to have seen the original to understand this film. The story is pretty much self-contained and not that closely related to its predecessor plotwise as it takes the story in a somewhat different direction, being more of a zombie film than a monster movie. And if you sit through the credits and bloopers there’s a teaser for Part 3, which looks to be different from the other two.

While not as bloody or as raunchy as I remember the original being, Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 should satisfy those looking for a film that delivers the Three Bs and some mindless fun.

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Don’t Fuck in the Woods 2 will be released to Digital and VOD platforms on October 11th. A Blu-ray is scheduled for December, from Wild Eye Releasing. You can check the film’s Facebook page for more information.

Our Score
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