2025 Armageddon (2022) Review
The tagline for The Asylum’s latest film 2025 Armageddon reads “Welcome to the Multiverse”. But the film actually has less in common with Marvel or DC’s concept of shared universes than it does with Toho’s monster mashes like Destroy All Monsters and Godzilla Final Wars.
As the film opens an unidentified object heading toward Earth takes out the ISS. At the same time a US Navy ship under the command of Ltc Madoyln Webb (Jhey Castles, Battle for Pandora, Titanic 666) is attacked and sunk by a giant, one might even say mega, piranha. Could there be a connection? Of course, there is.
Dr. Quinn Ramsey (Lindsey Marie Wilson, Bull Shark, Shark Side of the Moon) head of NASA’s Mission Control is meeting with her father Tom (Michael Paré, Nix, Once Upon a Time in Deadwood) only to have to quickly leave so he can take a classified call. Shortly thereafter all hell breaks loose as spacecraft and giant creatures launch attacks on the cities of Earth.
Marc Gottlieb’s (Time Pirates, Jungle Run) script was based on a story from long-time Asylum effects artists Tammy Klein and Glenn Campbell. They take a meta approach to the plot with several of the characters first talking about and then making the connection between, The Asylum’s films and the attacks, in the first act. Director Michael Su (Night of the Tommyknockers, Doomed) takes this outrageous idea and runs with it, enthusiastically staging all manner of creature attacks, giant robot battles, etc.
Unfortunately, as was the case with several of the Toho films, packing so many creatures into the film also means that most of those attacks are fairly short and not as satisfying as they should be. Even what should have been one of 2025 Armageddon’s major set pieces, a battle between all of the multi-headed sharks from that franchise and the mega shark only gets a few minutes of screen time.
That’s doubly unfortunate because what we get between the film’s attacks is some rather dull dialogue and weak drama revolving around the two female leads who are estranged sisters who haven’t spoken in years. Will they reconcile in time to beat the aliens and save Earth? What do you think? Given the plot and the fact that 2025 Armageddon originated from a story by effects people, I didn’t expect a lot from in the subplots. But the lack of major monster battles or scenes of destruction also means that there’s nothing to distract the viewer from just how shallow it is.
As is usually the case with The Asylum, the effects here leave something to be desired. There are a few good shots, but a lot of the scenes with the creatures are on the poor side. One near the end involving a giant octopus and a spaceship is actually embarrassing. To be fair, the script does include something about the aliens 3D printing the film’s monsters from low-resolution images, so it might be intentional. But that doesn’t explain why 2025 Armageddon has such horrendous CGI blood spray or alien makeup that looks like it came from the original Lost in Space.
By the time 2025 Armageddon reaches a final act that brings in zombies, zoombies and of course a sharknado, I was ready for it to end. While the concept was a good one, the execution left a lot to be desired. The lack of major monster battles undercuts the film so badly that it can’t recover. Why bother bringing all these creatures back and then do nothing with them?
There are a few funny scenes of self-mockery with characters referring to The Asylum as a maker of subpar movies, but that’s hardly enough of a reason to watch. 2025 Armageddon does seem to end on a cliffhanger, if there is a sequel hopefully they get the formula right. There are enough kaiju in the company’s catalogue to make a good film of this kind, and I’d like to see them make it.
The Asylum has released 2025 Armageddon to Digital platforms.