From Dusk Till Bong (2022) Review

From Dusk Till Bong wastes no time getting started, opening with a scene of Tony Canoni (James Balsamo, From Parts Unknown, Karate Ghost) holding a chainsaw while riding a giant bat. He offers to tell us how he got there and suddenly Harvey Van Winkle (Eric Roberts, Jurassic Domination, Angels Fallen) is talking about creating a Holy Trinity before being attacked by a bat.

Screaming Jay Pigeons, played by Charles Wright (Killer Waves 2, Teddy Told Me To) and looking a lot like Wright’s WWE character Papa Shango, drives up in a Rolls Royce and sets a vampire on fire. This causes the spirit of his very busty, and very naked, wife Lanorea (J.E. Scripps, The Pandering) to appear and beg him to “pass through the spiritual event horizon” and save her.

Meanwhile, when we get back to Tony and his giant talking vampire bat Spat (a stuffed bat voiced by Balsamo) we find out that after the events of Bite School 2, Tony is losing his powers and is becoming a mere human again. Even worse, thanks to Screaming Jay Pigeons and Father Gill O’Teen (G. Larry Butler, Amityville Karen, The Double-D Avenger), he’s broke.

Now if all of this seems like a lot to keep straight, don’t worry. From Dusk Till Bong doesn’t really have a plot. It’s more like a collection of sketches and gags held together with a vague premise that gets it from an opening scene to the final credits. This means the plot may suddenly go back a day for a gag about Transylvanian pizza oil turning someone into a Chinese hopping vampire. And then back to the present where a would-be thief learns a lesson about trying to stab a vampire.

This is actually fine because Balsamo obviously wasn’t taking any of this seriously when he made it. If there’s any doubt, just wait for the scene where a man’s face is shoved into a buzzing chainsaw. Only the saw is very obviously not running, the sound effects alone are causing blood to spray everywhere.

It’s obviously all very over the top and bizarre, but is it funny? That’s going to depend heavily on your sense of humour. A lot of From Dusk Till Bong’s jokes are, as the British would say, rather silly. Vampires look at the camera as they point to their fangs level silly. Others, like a shocked Bill (Robert Felsted Jr., Re-Elected, Hanukkah) asking Tony “Are you really going to jizz in my dream?” are too absurd not to laugh out loud at.

We do get a few cameos, wrestler Hacksaw Jim Duggan (The Axeman of Henderson County, Menantico Blues) who delivers a PSA about killing vampire bats. Gary Holt, guitarist for Slayer and Exodus makes a brief appearance as the owner of a female bat, and Randy Blythe from Lamb of God also makes an appearance. Effects man Tom Devlin (Bermuda Island, Camp Twilight) and indie horror regular Drew Marvick (Another WolfCop, The Barn Part II), who has some choice lines as Topher, a five-hundred-year-old vampire out to drain Tony of more than his blood, round out the guest appearances. Throw in several nude women and lots of weed jokes and there you have it.

From Dusk Till Bong does suffer from one major problem, the film’s lighting or lack thereof. Some of the night scenes and almost all of the climax, which takes place in a tomb, are so underlit that it’s hard to tell what’s happening at times. Some viewers would class the effects as an issue as well, but I’m sure they were meant to be as cheesy as the dialogue.

I laughed at more of From Dusk Till Bong than I rolled my eyes at, something that’s unusual for this kind of comedy. If you’re in the right frame of mind for it, you’ll probably do the same.

From Dusk Till Bong doesn’t seem to be streaming anywhere but it is available on Blu-Ray and DVD from Acid Bath Productions. If you want more films like this, FilmTagger can suggest some titles for you.