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Things 666 (2021) Review

Director Joe Sherlock’s (Horrortales.666 Part 2, Beyond the Wall of Fear) third film in the series and the seventh overall, Things 666 opens with a man (John Bowker, Platoon of the Dead, Topless Tori’s Tomb of Terror) calling his daughter to tell her he’s fixed the sump pump. He hears a noise that he hopes isn’t a snake. It isn’t, but whatever it is, it promptly chews his face off.

After the credits, the first of the film’s three stories begins. Monica (Jewel Siren, Odd Noggins, Dark Zone Thirteen), who moved into her father’s house after his unfortunate death, wakes up to see someone taking pictures of her house. She showers and comes downstairs to hear her phone ringing, rather than answer it she tosses it in a drawer. Her sister Liv (Tonjia Atomic, Haunted House on Sorority Row, Scarecrow County) stops by and shows her a video on YouTube.

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It seems there was a shooting at the school where Monica teaches and an Alex Jones wannabe named Stoney Burr (Joseph Voegele, Project 88: Back to the Future Too, Specimen 6) is claiming she’s a crisis actor. But that’s not their only problem, because as a couple of trespassers found out whatever got their father is still under the house.

As Liv watches Burr’s show takes a turn into the occult, maybe he’s more Art Bell than Alex Jones, and he introduces the second story as one of his “Midnight Files”

Peyton (Jackey Neyman Jones, Manos: The Rise of Torgo, Curse of Bigfoot) is tending bar, serving her solitary customer Virgil played by director Joe Sherlock. When she goes to get “some of the good stuff” from the back she finds an old bottle of booze and a strange looking doll, two things you never want to mess with in movies like this. Could the doll, or the visions of a bloody hammer people start having, be connected to the previous owner’s missing wife?

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Then we’re back with Monica and Liv for a few moments before there’s a segue into the third segment which involves a cam girl named Rusti (Melody Berg, Axegrinder 3, Thingz) who gets sent something by number one fan Lewis (George Stover, Camp Blood 666 Part 2: Exorcism of the Clown, Blood Massacre). And whatever is in that box, is causing people to have a literal meltdown.

Then once more it’s back to the girl’s house for the showdown with the sump pump monster to finish Things 666 up.

John Oak Dalton’s (Smart House, Amityville Island) script for Things 666 has the feel of an old-school shot on video anthology with plots that aren’t exactly complex but do a good enough job of holding the viewer’s attention between bursts of skin and bloodshed. And for a no-budget film, there is a surprising amount of both. And the gore is mostly practical, cheap, but practical. There is one chewed-on face that looks like CGI. It serves as a reminder of how even low-budget latex mayhem is better than digital.

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Unlike many of them, however, Things 666 actually looks like it was professionally made which means no squinting to see during night scenes, you can hear the dialogue and they could afford a tripod so you won’t get motion sickness. While it’s not particularly scary, it is a lot of fun, especially if you remember renting your share of shot on video schlock back in the day. And if you didn’t like them you may want to give this a miss, because this is one for the fans.

Surprisingly, Things 666 currently isn’t streaming anywhere, but it can be ordered on Blu-ray or DVD. Details are on the production company’s website.

Our Score
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