Amityville Bigfoot Poster

Amityville Bigfoot (2024) Review

Originally announced in 2021 for release the following year, Amityville Bigfoot eventually came out earlier this year and just landed on Tubi a few days ago. That gave me a chance to cross a title off of both my Amityville and Bigfoot movie lists.

We start out in a secret research facility owned by the Amityville Chemical Company, it looks like a hunter’s cabin, but I suppose that’s to help keep it secret. A group of researchers led by Ian (Shawn C. Phillips, Amityville Thanksgiving, Amityville Job Interview) are doing research on something big and hairy. That is until it breaks loose, kills one of them and rapes Annie (Lauren Francesca, Catskill Park, Muck) leading to this brilliant exchange of dialogue, between Annie and Ian, “It penetrated me!” “Ewww”.

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Elsewhere in the woods, a film company is shooting, what else, a Bigfoot film. Claude (Brandon Krum, The Haunting at Saint Joseph’s, Massacre Academy), the director has his hands full between his diva of a leading lady Francesca (Ashleeann Cittell, Amityville Shark House, Cheer Bloody Murder) and his father Harv (G. Larry Butler, The Double-D Avenger, Camp Pleasant Lake) who also happens to be the producer. And that’s before the protestors demanding an end to Amityville movies show up.

Apart from starring, Shawn C. Phillips directed and co-wrote Amityville Bigfoot with Julie Anne Prescott (Camp Blood 666 Part 2: Exorcism of the Clown, Amityville Turkey Day) and the results are, to put it mildly, a mess. It wants to be a non-PC comedy, so we get jokes about Sasquatch rape, scenes of Harv pouring an entire bottle of pills in his mouth and spitting them everywhere as he threatens to kick Claude out of his basement, a homeless man getting his junk ripped off, etc.

Unfortunately, none of it is particularly funny. Most of the alleged humour consists of people wandering around in the forest and screaming at each other like a bunch of 5 year olds or telling each other to smell their shoe, before eventually working its way up to jokes about Bigfoot pissing and shitting on people, puppies being killed and what is supposed to be a hysterical scene of Trent Haaga (Teddy Told Me To, Blood Shed) being sodomized by Bigfoot’s other big body part.

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Part of the problem is that much of the film’s cast couldn’t act if their lives depended on it. Amityville Bigfoot is yet another no budget film that looks like it was financed by selling roles. Filmmakers are quick to defend pay to play casting, but there’s no denying the downside to the viewer, especially when you end up with a lot of untalented performers trying to make a lousy script work, which is the situation here.

As a result, despite all the jokes about women enjoying being raped, sexual harassment, and all the rest of it, Amityville Bigfoot doesn’t even manage to be offensive. It’s just leaden, dull and seems to go on a lot longer than an hour and a half. Even appearances late in the film by Eric Roberts (Darkness of Man, Séance Games: Metaxu) and Tuesday Knight (A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, The Rideshare Killer) can’t liven it up.

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Effects are, as you might guess, pretty much non-existent, and despite the script being obsessed with sex, everyone stays fully dressed at all times. But if you want to see Sasquatch give a couple of little girls a golden shower, or ten minutes of random videos to pad out the end of the film, it can deliver that.

I was hoping Amityville Bigfoot would be as much fun as Woods Witch, also from Phillips and Prescott. Instead, it turned out to be along the lines of another of their collaborations, Amityville Karen, and one of the worst things I’ve seen this year.

SRS Cinema has released Amityville Bigfoot to various Digital Platforms. They also have it available to order on Blu-ray via their website, although even watching it on Tubi is paying too much.

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Where to watch Amityville Bigfoot
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