Graveyard Shark Poster

Graveyard Shark (2024) Review

Matthew A. Peters, the writer/director of, among others, Big Brood and Axegrinder 666 is back with a new film Graveyard Shark. What, I hear you ask, is a graveyard shark? One of a soon to be dead quartet of partiers relates the urban legend about a fisherman who caught a grotesque abomination in his net and thought that burying it on the hallowed ground of Willsboro Point Cemetery might cleanse it of evil.

Of course, it didn’t, and that’s not quite what happened anyway. But we’ll have to get to that later, because something that looks like it should be the mascot for an 80s metal band shows up and proceeds to kill the foursome in a frenzy of blood, flying body parts and bare breasts.

In the wake of this massacre, Dr. Jan Lovnik (Olga N. Bogdanova, Radiant Dark, My Brother Cain 2: Backlash) hires Abby (Stephanie Ward, Brain Hunter: New Breed, The Man with No Pants) and Greg (Michael John Gilbert, The Shards of Divinity: Broken Glass, Barely Coping) a pair of broke paranormal investigators to deal with the creature.

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The first order of business is sitting in on a meeting of the support group for graveyard shark attack survivors should get the point across. They include Sadie (Madisen Zabawa, Slapface, Goodbye Mama Rose) an OnlyFans model whose upset the shark ruined her photoshoot by eating the photographer and Chip (Olivia Walton, Portlandia) who had the happiest 132 days of her life ruined when the creature crashed the wedding proposal. They also get to meet Captain Seyburn (Berndele March, Romeo 3000, Slade Collins and the Tree of Life) who reminds them “I warned all you crazy white folk about the graveyard shark!” before leaving with the leftover donuts.

If this sounds like Graveyard Shark is the film that Cocaine Shark, Shark Exorcist, Bad CGI Sharks, etc. wanted to be, you’re right. It has a story that starts out over the top and gets weirder from there as it goes on. And one of the biggest things it has going for it is the fact it embraces that outrageousness and delivers on its promises, however absurd they may be.

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Or, more to the point, it puts them on the screen rather than delivering a “PG” version of an “R” rated plot. There’s blood, nudity including a fetish scene that put the cop in copulation not to mention the creature’s origin which involves someone getting frisky with a mermaid and a few other surprises. In bad taste? Of course, but are you really watching a film called Graveyard Shark for clever satire and witty repartee?

The other big difference is Graveyard Shark’s effects are of the practical variety, from the blood and body parts to the shark suit created by Anthony Clark Pierce (Big Brood, Fingerlakes Grindhouse Presents Till Death Do Us Part) and filled by Brandon Wheeler, who also composed the film’s score. Part hammerhead shark, part bodybuilder, it’s the perfect mix of ridiculous and dangerous for a film like this.

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The cast, for the most part, play everything just straight enough that the film never turns into a total farce, which this kind of material easily could have. The exceptions I’m fairly sure are intentional, Captain Seyburn is meant to be an over the top persona and Berndele March chews up the scenery the way the shark does his victims. On the other side of the coin, Ryan Santiago (Empire State of the Dead, Savage Christmas) is fittingly deadpan as Sheriff McDermott.

Overall, Graveyard Shark does what it sets out to do and delivers what it says it will. It’s the kind of horror comedy we rarely get, and really need more of. As long as you’re not easily offended, you should like this one as much as I did.

Graveyard Shark will be available on DVD, Blu-ray and VHS on July 19th. You can pre-order them on the Mad Angel Films website. VOD and Digital availability will be announced at a later date.

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